Thursday 15^th September – Prince Charles has had a run in with a deer on the Queen’s Royal Deeside estate. His Audi was badly damaged and the Prince somewhat shaken up. Prince Philip was unimpressed. Stalking and clean shots are the only way to kill deer. Using a car gives an unfair advantage.

    Jean-Claude Juncker has announced his plans to install free WiFi in public spaces across the EU, abolish data roaming fees and enable 5G connectivity for everyone. He’ll teach us the downside of voting Brexit. We’re waiting for Theresa May to announce free bars in hotel bedrooms in the UK, but only for UK patrons. Next.

    Friday 16^th September – 110-years-old and going strong. Grace Jones from Worcestershire has shared her secret of longevity – it’s whisky. She has a nightcap – Famous Grouse – every night and has done so for the last sixty years. Anybody like to do a straight swap with several bottles of decent vodka! At least Adrian has a smile. If a single whisky nightcap gives you 110 years he probably thinks he’ll live forever

    Saturday 17^th September – massive marches took place in seven German cities, against the EU’s planned trade pacts with the US and Canada. The mounting public backlash against the bloc’s trans-Atlantic trade policies is gathering pace. Brexit is looking more attractive as each week passes. But still the ‘Remainers’ bleat about a second referendum. Tim Farron, the LibDem leader was at it again asking for a second referendum on the final deal. He doesn’t seem to understand that we won’t know the final deal until it has been signed off. Still, we can put that down to incompetence. Then we have Owen Smith’s position. The potential Labour leader believes we should reapply to join the EU if Labour win the next election. We’re beginning to believe that pigs really may fly in our lifetime.

    Sunday 18^th September – if you see something dog paddling in the sea around the British coast, don’t panic. It’s probably Nigel Farage, and with luck he’ll be wearing his underpants. De-mob happy before his final speech at the UKIP conference, him and Aaron Banks the UKIP financial backer, reinforced by a few drinks, stripped off for a swim. Banks said skinny-dipping but Nigel insists he kept his pants on. We can only hope an extra bottle of wine doesn’t lead him to discard them next time.

    Monday 19^th September – the EU army seems to be creeping closer as France and Germany agree that a permanent strategic HQ should be established in Brussels. But with the UK still a member, we can block any proposal to form the army. It sounds like another trade off for Brexit. And the thought of a military run by the EU almost guarantees the order Ready – Fire – Aim based on their decision-making precedents.

    The LBGT traffic light filters installed near Trafalgar Square for gay pride week are here to stay according to Transport for London. Age Concern believe a second sign should be added showing elderly couples supporting each other rather than holding hands. This is due to seeing elderly people peering at the green signs but refusing to cross as they are unsure what message the lights are giving. LBGT training courses for the over 70’s will shortly be introduced in Central London to resolve the problem. There will be no practical work on the courses.

    Tuesday 20^th September – ex-soldiers yesterday completed a 22km march through New York to raise awareness about the 22 vets and soldiers that take their own lives each year. They are trying to shed light on PTSD and the effect of it on many former soldiers. The US is not alone in the lack of support offered to those who served their country. Those who marched towards the sound of battle deserve on going support, whatever the cost, as they try to return to normality back at home. At the same time the UK government should put a stop to the spurious allegations made against our soldiers for events in the Iraq war. Most of them are based on word of mouth, mainly unsupported, but with the simple aim of receiving money for so called compensation. Wars don’t end with the last shot fired.

    A woman in Barnstaple, Devon accidently rang the police in Barnstaple, Massachusetts to report a car accident near Ilfracombe. The US cop showed a great sense of humour by telling her the response time would be about six hours! The lady in question raged about the irresponsible motorist who caused the accident but her grasp of technology may make her account questionable.