Saturday 15^th October – has ‘The Donald’ finally blown it as women come out of the woodwork with alleged assaults? With no time to examine and challenge the allegations Trump has to let them run and fight them any way he can. That guarantees a fascinating final debate with Hilary. Bill Clinton might want use earplugs and under no circumstances smoke a cigar.  And what a brilliant diversion to suggest drug tests before the debate? It would finally reduce the election of the most powerful person on the planet to a sporting event. At least that would strike a chord with the millions worldwide that view politicians with distaste.

    Sunday 16^th October – back to the real world at last. A bloke in Honduras has had to have his penis amputated after getting it stuck in a bottle for four days. When it went black and began to rot he finally overcame his embarrassment and went to hospital. The surgeon who performed the operation has repositioned the urethra so that the patient can urinate. With no information about the repositioning you wouldn’t want to stand next to him in the urinal, especially if you were wearing decent shoes. I see him as another victim of the switch from glass bottles to the everlasting plastic. He could have smashed a glass one!

    Britain and the US are considering economic sanctions against Russia over bombings in Aleppo. At least they have stopped murmuring about the gross stupidity of ‘no fly’ zones that would be likely to lead to shooting war. Typically, they are too late in stepping up to the plate. While they dithered, Putin acted and he has been on the front foot ever since. That’s unlikely to change and the final scenario will involve Assad in power over at least a part of Syria and Russia with a base in Syria.

    Tuesday 18th October – a Russian fleet seems to be heading for the English Channel en-route for the Eastern Mediterranean to support Assad in Syria. Instead of shadowing it with naval ships and aircraft I suggest that P&O and Cunard pull all their cruise liners into The Channel. Passengers would almost certainly pay a premium to escort the heavily armed fleet. It would also give Entertainment Managers the opportunity to organize great British ‘sailaways’ throughout daylight hours. Pop music combined with passengers singing Rule Britannia and waving plastic flags would cause more embarrassment to the warships than anything our armed forces can muster.   

    Tuesday 11^th October – I must be feeling a touch better. I’m sitting with my PC on my lap shouting abuse at politicians on the television.

    The destruction of Aleppo is an offence to the human race but one with an inevitable end. The opposition fighters of whatever group will continue to hold positions within densely populated civilian areas. That way they try to win public support since Assad’s forces, Putin backed, will inevitably kill civilians as they drive to take Aleppo. And they will take Aleppo, while the western world wrings its hands and shouts foul in various guises. Then we have Boris Johnson calling for demonstrations outside the Russian embassy. The call is sure to be taken up – left wing groups like their demonstrations. When they occur I suggest that the British Embassy in Russia quickly place an order for tin hats since the Russians won’t take it lying down. In England, our police will have the task of controlling the demonstration/s. Does anybody believe that Russian police will do the same. To whom can we turn to protect us from politicians?  

    While on the subject of politicians, we now have another bunch of clowns hiding in dark places before leaping out to scare the living daylights of any passer by. A simple solution would be to allow drivers two clowns each on their current licence. They would quickly become a threatened species.

    Thursday 29^th September – Jonathon Dunne, the man behind the Tube Chat badges has been surprised by the reaction of travellers. He thinks it is a great idea to wear the badge to encourage people to chat on the tube as they travel to and from work. Four out of five offered the badge refused point blank but he is not easily put off and has ordered another delivery to prove the point. A card handed out with each badge tells people they will ‘benefit from a daily chat’. Our experience of rush hour travel on the tube doesn’t suggest that chat would improve things. You share bodily contact with total strangers, odours of unidentifiable types and pushing and shoving at every stop. Approached by a smiling stranger, tapping his/her badge with a finger and suggesting a chat could get some interesting results. We are currently investing in some badges that we plan to hand out. The message is simple. SPEAK TO ME AT YOUR OWN RISK.

    Monday 3^rd October – hit by so far unidentified illness. Whatever it is it has flattened me so no blog this week. Hope to be back next week.