Ben shared some email exchanges he had with M&S last week. He popped into their Hedge End store to buy a few bits and pieces for a soon to be holiday, all clothes. Even with problems finding stock of the right size he and Sue managed to spend £50. He was surprised at the till to find that clothes still don’t get a bag unless you buy one. Most people want new clothes in pristine condition to carry them home and the carriers we all use for groceries are pretty tatty. Ben raised the possibility of recyclable paper bags if M&S are so concerned about the planet. After all, buying a plastic bag doesn’t reduce usage and we don't buy clothes very often. Their response that paper bags would increase their carbon footprint may be valid, but they buried it with a final sentence. ‘We are however looking to bring in a new free bag which we will provide for customers who spend over £100 on clothes’. Global warming, what global warming, if you spend over a ton.

    We’ve renamed David Cameron, Don Quixote. He tilts at more windmills than the legendary Don and with a similar success rate. His ‘negotiations’ in Brussels are descending into farce. He’s asking for very little and seems ready to settle for less. To take the pressure off he simply selects another windmill and hopes the headline it generates will divert us. The latest windmill is a classic. He says that if you’re black you’re more likely to be in prison than at a top university. Without doing the analysis we’re betting the same applies if you’re white and only measure blue chip university intakes. We tend to associate prison sentences with serious crime so unless those banged up are there for other reasons we’re not sure what point he is making. At least it gives him a headline that doesn’t involve Google’s tax or the EU.       

    A 14-year old girl in Croydon has been jailed for four months for punching an 87-year old woman on a bus. It makes us long for the old days. The return of the birch might have a more lasting effect. The old lady will never forget the attack while her attacker will wear it as a badge of honour when back with her friends. As W.S.Gilbert wrote in The Mikado, ‘to make the punishment fit the crime’ has a lot to recommend it. Give pain to those who inflict it!

    At last an interesting survey, and a touch of validity about the findings due to the way the figures are produced. NHS patients in Blackpool had the highest average spending per head on antidepressants last year. £10.46/person, equivalent to a three-month course, is based on the population of the town. If you had a tough year in 2015, we would recommend a holiday in Blackpool this year. You’ll feel a lot better once you’ve mixed with some really depressed locals. And you’ll soon get used to the safety harness on the big wheel. They’re not taking any chances!

    Aldi in Australia have recently come up with a high-risk marketing strategy. They posted a ‘fill in the blank’ message on the internet. How about this for taking a punt?

I became an Aldi lover when I tasted ------------ for the first time.

You can insert your own words since most of ours were unprintable, particularly the one regarding the lady on the Delhi counter. Enough said.

    Blatchington Mill School in Brighton set an interesting homework the other day. They circulated a survey released by the Children’s Commissioner for England, Anne Longfield asking them to define their gender from a list of more than 20 different terms. Girl and boy seemed pretty straightforward but we began to struggle with ‘gender fluid’. Sam was convinced it related to discharge released by both boys and girls in moments of erotic excitement, therefore making them ‘gender common’. His scientific background excludes him from most discussions. We gave up in hysterics as we discussed Genderqueer, Non-binary, Androgynous, Intersex, Not sure and Rather Not say. But it is good to know our Children’s Commissioner is focused on the critical issues for kids in the UK. 

    Has the Trump bubble burst in Iowa. Maybe the result is similar to the last election in the UK where pollsters forecast one result and the electorate delivered another. Answering a pollster requires less thought than registering your vote. Before you place your cross, you probably take a much harder look at the character of those shouting for it.  Time to try an alternative hairstyle Donald.