A truck driver in Wisconsin came up with a great excuse after failing a breath test. He put it down to the beer battered fish he ate for lunch. The police didn’t buy it, maybe because of the open beer in his cab and the fact he’d been caught drink driving nine times before. Nice try though.

    When I posted last week’s blog I forgot it was Ash Wednesday so no calls for any of you to fast. Not that it affects our crowd as we’re all over 59 (18 - 59 is the fasting age range). Others who get a free pass are either pregnant, nursing or sick and we score on two of those. If any of our crowd manages the third exclusion, we can look forward to a second coming. But to show willing we have decided not to eat in any five star restaurants throughout Lent.

    American presidential elections have never been big topics in the pub but whatever you think of Trump and Sanders (they sound like a music hall act when written like that – coincidence maybe?) they have raised our interest in the current race. We’ve even taken a look at Bernie Sanders new ad and think Hilary should be a little worried. Cynically, we find it hard not to be when talking about politicians, it’s a strong pitch for the black vote, but as ads go, this one is hard to ignore.

    Valentine’s Day has come and gone unless you live in South Korea. They have three Valentine’s Days – one for men, one for women and a third one for those who didn’t find love. The so-called Black Day falls on April 14 and singletons are expected to wear dark colours and commiserate with others in a similar situation. In the UK the 14^th April is likely to be called Mingers Day.

     The Russian anti-doping agency Rusada, heavily criticized by world athletics, seems a dangerous place to have worked. Disgraced former head, Nikita Kamayev, felt chest pains while cross country skiing and died suddenly, probably due to a massive heart attack. People close to him were unaware of any heart problems. His death comes ahead of a visit by inspectors from world athletics governing body to evaluate Russian anti-doping efforts. No inconvenient questions for Nikita then. I wonder if he glows in the dark?

    Shane Warne is earning a few dollars by appearing in the Australian version of ‘I’m a Celebrity, get Me Out Of Here’ and he’ll say whatever it takes to stay in. His comments on humans evolving from monkeys with the help of aliens got the audiences attention. It also gave an insight into his bowling. No human being could turn it like that. It raised another question. What did he whisper in Liz Hurley’s ears during their intimate moments? Maybe he has a view on how aliens have sex, though our memories of ET don’t recall the appropriate physiology.  Perhaps ‘phone home’ passed through his mind.

    The recently published letters from Pope John Paul II show an interesting relationship between him and a close friend, Anna-Teresa Tymieniecka. There is no suggestion it was a sexual relationship, but the letters could certainly be described as loving. Perhaps the 21^st Century is the time for the Roman Catholic Church to seriously review its doctrine on celibacy. Numerous priests have been caught in the act so to speak, as the modern world refuses to turn the blind eye that was the norm 30 years ago. And those are just the cases that have come to light. Why should a priest in a loving or married relationship perform his duties less dutifully than one struggling with the concept of celibacy? The Catholic view on contraception raises equal doubts. It seems likely that a high percentage of Catholics in the developed world practice contraception. Only believers in the poorest of countries accept the doctrine if birth rates are any indication, and they pay the price by the lifestyle that comes with over population. The debate on both topics is generations old but the letters might give it added focus.

    Stephen Fry has deleted his Twitter account - again. He knows how to put a smile on our faces!

    St John’s Primary School in Greater Manchester has sent a letter to parents asking them not to smoke spliffs when dropping off the children. Apparently, the complaint came from other parents who noticed it as they delivered their kids to school. We’re not sure what gave it away but if you’ve ever tried it, you never forget the aroma!!