We’re not sure who came up with the idea of playing hide and seek in Ikea stores but we think it’s great.  The games began in Belgium and spread rapidly through Europe. The games were organized through Facebook, but got out of hand as participants became more and more creative about hiding places.  Fridges became popular hiding places and opening a home delivery from Ikea could take on a whole new meaning. Maybe you’ll receive a friend to give you hand next time you open a flat pack.  And I wouldn’t dare risk buying a bidet. But will it stop?  It seems 19,000 people have joined a Facebook group promoting a game in Amsterdam next month.  But if Ikea make the ban stick, how long before the new craze, snakes and ladders, takes over from it? The first games are reputed to to take place in the UK.  A copy of the rules will shortly be available on Facebook!

    German supermarket, Aldi, have been announced as the official supermarket of Team GB as they prepare for the next Olympics.  Aldi have a sharp eye for business as British retail giants have found to their cost.  The next step for Aldi must be to sponsor the England football team.  No other team has done more to build the reputation of German football than our well-drilled penalty takers.  Some of our players may be challenged by the words of their new anthem but they struggle to sing the one we already have.  All together lads – Deutschland, Deutschland über alles. Don’t say you’ve forgotten the words again Wayne!  There may be more in these words than is first apparent.  An Oxford University study into our genetic heritage shows that up to 40% of our DNA may be from Germanic ancestors, all due to Anglo-Saxon migrations here in 450-600 AD.  Maybe the European Union is older than we realized and the borders were as open then as they are today.  We can’t imagine they came here for jobs, unless rape and pillage was available through job centres.  The research also offers a hint to Roy Hodgson, he of the ‘lithp’, when selecting the England soccer squad.  Only select players with high levels of Germanic DNA.  If you can’t beat them, join them!

    Angela Merkel and Alexis Tsipras have had another meeting in Berlin about the release of more funds for Greece, Merkel at pains to point out that Germany is just one of the Euronations.  It makes it sound like some sort of equal partnership on that basis.  Let’s hope it doesn’t encourage Luxembourg to start throwing their weight around.  But as the two leaders dance around the problem we’ve identified the real issue.  Angela is dancing the Zweifacher, a folk dance where the couple are tightly wound to each other.  Alexis doesn’t know the steps and is sticking to the Greek Sirtaki where dancers never get closer than arms length.  Will they ever move on to the waltz?  We think the odds are against it unless Angela is willing to pay for a partner.  

    I’m reminded of the old story of the frog giving a lift on his back to a scorpion that wants to cross a river.  The frog does it on the basis that the scorpion can’t sting him or both will die.  Halfway across the scorpion stings the frog, guaranteeing death to both.  With his final breath, the frog asks why to be told by the scorpion that it’s in his nature.  Germans tend to be hard working, law abiding, economically careful – it’s in their nature.  Greeks place value on unearned early retirement, non-existent tax laws and have lived beyond their means for years – it’s in their nature.  Does a common currency make any sense?

    Meanwhile, France continues to be given extra time to sort out its budget.  It has failed to meet its 3% deficit target for several years with little in the way of condemnation from Eurozone partners. With a bloated public sector and successive governments that are unwilling to do battle with said public sector, France seems unlikely to change.  Maybe Greece isn’t the biggest issue the Eurozone faces.         

    It’s hard to read or listen to media without the exodus of young Muslims to fight or support IS militants in Syria taking centre stage.  As normal, the politicians take little notice of the voters.  Our main concern isn’t them leaving, it’s the possibility of them coming back and taking the battle to our streets.  Let their parents stop them from becoming radicalized while our security services protect our borders.