Life can be full of shocks!  For soap actor, Dmitry Nikolaev, being approached by an attractive blonde just after he finished a performance in a Moscow theatre seemed like opportunity knocks.  With a different type of performance probably in mind he joined her for drinks and a sauna.  He remembered nothing afterwards until he woke in a bus shelter.  A visit to a hospital showed that his testicles had been surgically removed and by a professional hand!  After a hard days work, I’ve often said I felt knackered but never to that extent.  A new career beckons in the UK as an advisor to Ed Miliband.  Word has it that for several months he has been keen to get rid of his Balls, without so far summoning the courage.

    Spain is toying with the idea of introducing ‘breathalyzer’ testing for pedestrians who are staggering as they walk.  They say it is to deter drunks from staggering into the path of motorists and causing accidents.  We may have to avoid Spain as a holiday destination in future since several of us with dodgy knees are prone to staggering on any other than smooth pavements.  Added to which, our asthma would make the long steady blow into a ‘breathalyzer’ a serious health risk!   

    Apologists, mainly human rights group Cage, are seeking sympathy for Jihadi John now his name has become public.  They seem to be blaming everyone from British security services to school bullies for driving him to join IS. How those factors turned him into a psychopathic murderer they fail to explain.  At least Jihadi John should be easy to find now he has been named.  He’ll be leaving a characteristic snail trail everywhere he goes, though the colour of the trail is likely to be brown.  Killed or captured seems the only remaining question?  In our view captured would be the best solution, but only if he is tried in the US.  There he would receive a genuine life sentence and in a prison that wouldn’t cater to his every need.  

    It seems to be a week of reports, a failure to protect vulnerable children in Oxford, maternity care failure leading to baby deaths in Morecambe Bay Health Trust.  The common factor once again is that no one appears to be held accountable, although handwringing and apologies have already begun.  Until those who fail are held accountable there seems no point holding enquiries.  We could simply change the name of the responsible organisation and copy whichever report is the nearest match.  At least we’ve not heard anyone say ‘lessons have been learned’ but it’s just a question of time.  Many moons ago Cheryl Breetwor of ShareData said

        ‘You can’t be motivated by self-interests and expect to be a leader’. 

A straightforward statement that sums up what was wrong in both these organisations.  Without leadership, the rot sets in and infects staff at every level.  Once it spreads, those dependent on the organisation pay the price, frequently a heavy one.

    It was fascinating listening to Sir Andrew Dilnot, the chair of the UK Statistics Authority, as he gave examples of politicians manipulating (by accident of course) various national figures.  Sadly, his only recourse was to write an open letter to the culprit, barely reported, unlike the original that received column-headed pages in the favoured media.  Perhaps we have reached the stage where the process should be reversed.  If a politician plans to seek a headline using statistics, it should first be passed as accurate by the Statistics Authority.  If nothing else, we could begin to believe!

     A typical old git I was listening to Sinatra singing My Way the other day and it sprang to mind when a piece about the Clinton portrait appeared in the on line news. “Regrets, I’ve had a few” must register on Bill as the ghost of Monica Lewinsky appears in the portrait.  Clearly the artist, Nelson Shanks isn’t a fan of Clinton.  Even so, it seems sad that a dumb mistake can overshadow a great statesman.  I can only hope there was some gain for Bill – maybe he stopped smoking.

    There is more money currently spent on breast implants and Viagra than on Alzheimer research.  By 2040 there will be a major population of elderly people with large breasts and serious erections, but no memory of what to do with them!