Friday 22^nd July – a café owner in Felixstowe, Suffolk got a round of applause in the pub this week. She has taken a stand against disruptive children whose parents seem oblivious of their kid’s obnoxious behaviour. Needless to say her stand has been greeted by screams from some of the yummy mummy’s that allow their kids to run amok in any number of public places. Kim Christofi made it clear that if parents made no attempt to discipline their children during a tantrum, she would have a word with them, a sharp one hopefully. Go for it Kim. You will get some abuse from parents who feel that restraint should only be applied to other situations, never to their little darlings. The abuse will be more than offset by a majority that support your stand. How about setting up a naughty corner, a couple of tables well removed from the majority? These would come into use once a child kicked off, with no attempt at control by the parent/s. Parent/s and child would be requested to move to the isolated area where the rest of the customers could observe their behaviour, a bit like visiting a zoo really. Paddy suggested adding cages but that seemed a trifle extreme.

    Saturday 23^rd July – is a frontal lobotomy the prime qualification for becoming a traffic warden? A Parking Officer – they’re not traffic wardens in Sleaford, Lincolnshire - had begun to ticket a car owned by a LIVES first responder and only stopped when the responder returned to his car after attending a heart attack victim. It’s to be hoped that this warden doesn’t have a heart attack while at work. He could easily die as a responder searches for a legal parking space! We visualise balloons rather than flowers to mark his passing.

    Sunday 24^th July – John McDonnell, Labour Shadow Chancellor, made a plea for Labour unity on the Andrew Marr show this morning. He did it with a straight face, while his eyes told a different story, clearly an actor that missed his vocation. It reminded me of a tiger eyeing a tasty morsel that is just out of reach. Come closer, we can be friends on my terms or until I feel a pang of hunger. Labour now seems to be split three ways – the loony left, the far left and the leaning in whatever direction might help them to retain their seats. On the same programme, Paddy Ashdown launched a group that will support MP’s of any party provided they have similar beliefs to Paddy and his mates. Has he forgotten how personal needs override principals when individuals are elected to Parliament? He has also forgotten that political parties have leaders and whips to focus minds on where to place votes.   

    How could we cope without government? They now plan to ban Latin abbreviations e.g. etc. in all communications to avoid confusing non-English speakers. This should ensure that foreigners et al avoid confusion. N.B. Foreign denotes born outside the UK. i.e Europe.  Apologies to any of you that don’t know latin abbreviations and que sera, sera to Italians that don’t speak their native mother tongue!    

    Monday 25^th July – just seen the news that the world is forecast to end on Friday. We’re assuming that David Cameron and Mark Carney, Governor of The Bank of England, got early warning of this, hence the apocalyptic messages about Brexit. Maybe they thought ‘remain’ would result in God giving us another chance. So with four days left, stop worrying about the economy. If you have a few decent bottles laid down, pull the corks and let the wine breath. Real disaster is seeing the end close enough to touch with a glass still left in the bottle. On the other hand, End Time Prophecies have got it wrong more than once. They previously forecast the end in May, a collision between earth and an asteroid. June was forecast to be the next end, due to Barrack Obama admitting that he was the Antichrist. Now if ‘The Donald’ admitted to being the antichrist I might start to pull corks!

    Tuesday 26^th July – we thought Pokémon Go was a game for iPhone owners who didn’t respond to the suggestion to ‘get a life’. Now we have seen it in action we realise it is the first skittle game for motorists. As Pokémon players meander the streets focused on their screens, changes of direction sudden and unpredictable, motorists slow as they approach them. The players probably assume that drivers are taking care in case of a sudden step off the pavement. Think again players, the motorist may be lining you up and hoping you spot a Furry Basaur on the other side of the street. Over 70’s could easily top the motorist’s league table!!