The appointment of Ken Livingstone as co-chair of the Labour Party defence review has stopped the in-fighting in the Party. They are now slugging it out in the open. The slanging match between John Mann and Livingstone on LBC was well worth a listen, with Mann a winner in every sense. He told Livingstone to his face that he was a bully and a bigot over his comments about people with mental health problems. He told it as he saw it, not using the non-attributable whispers to journalists that are generally the method of choice for politicians. Whatever the colour of his politics, John Mann could rely on my vote if he ever ventured south. As for Livingstone, he is what he is. I couldn’t help thinking of the definition of politically correct individuals. They’re folk who tell you which end of a turd is clean so you can pick it up.

    The jungle tests in I’m a Celebrity – Get me Out of Here, are getting brutal.  It’s nothing short of abuse to introduce a Scrabble competition. Attaching the label celebrity to most of the participants is misnomer at least, but asking them to spell words in public seems depraved. Even their name badges have be written for them. To show we feel for them, a message of support from the pub crowd. Doant giv up, wee luv you reely and wun of you will bee a winna. 

    When a lady friend talked about using Bag Balm on her face at night I had to tap it into Google since she seemed serious about it. Sure enough she was serious. The history is interesting. Produced in Vermont since 1899 – the formula was bought by John L Norris and we’d love to know who formulated the original.  The product is still produced in Vermont. It’s actually an udder cream to keep cows nether regions soft and supple. We can only assume ladies started lower down and worked up to the face.  With 8-hydroxyquinoline in the formula the smell of antiseptic is unavoidable. So if your latest girlfriend seems to be using ‘Eau de Antiseptic’ as her perfume of choice you can expect skin like satin beneath your fingers and a complete absence of bacteria. Apparently the plumping effect also reduces wrinkles – sorry, laughter lines – in ladies.

    Two of our regulars are interested in antiques and visit one or another auction most weeks. Like most auction buffs, we’ve been surprised by the growing amount of Chinese artefacts that we’re seeing – also by the prices they fetch. Regular chats with staff about the provenance of the pieces we see proves interesting. Even the so-called experts can’t differentiate the genuine from copies, so I did a bit of research. There are twelve symbols in the Chinese language for the word fake, each with a slightly different meaning. (Why did certain politicians leap to mind) Add to that the fact that reproductions and copies are an accepted part of Chinese culture and the picture clears. If the artifact (you can spell the word with an i or an e) is produced using the same materials and methods as 300 years ago, it should produce the same feelings of pleasure for the owner. That point of view has logic. The issue arrives if you have paid X million dollars for the piece and it was made the day before yesterday. Fortunately, maybe unfortunately, we will never be in the position to pay megabucks, so if we like it, it’s real enough for us.

    The Highland Council is considering the reduction of their working week to 4.5 days. If the proposal is accepted, their offices would close on Friday lunchtime. With a predicted funding gap around £21 million in 2016/17 they believe the option of shortening the week would generate significant savings in facilities such as heat and power. Staff would be given the option of reducing their contracted hours (and wages) or maintaining their hours during the working days. Getting rid of a few councillors seems a better option. Staff would jump at the chance of finishing on Friday and all would find ways of maintaining their hours. The lunatics are clearly running this asylum or the early closure wouldn’t even be an option.

    Russian colossus Gazprom has halted gas supplies to Ukraine after not receiving up front payments. If only our NHS would do the same for foreign health tourists.

    It seems that activists have glued themselves to an immigration centre gate in a deportation protest near Heathrow. At least we know where the illegals are for a change!