VW Technology – so clever it takes your breath away!

    Only two of us driving VW diesels and waiting to hear about the class action that seems inevitable if the technology breaches UK emission targets. Now the fun starts as the company begin an internal ‘hunt the scapegoats’. We can imagine emails and hard discs being deleted and destroyed at every level in the company, in the hope that no trail exists. But it always does. No fraud of this magnitude could have been signed off at middle management level. It must have reached almost to the top, but not right to the top. Someone at the top will have winked and turned a blind eye while ensuring nothing exists to tie them to it. The first book and film about the event should appear in less than a year. Let’s hope VW have a few euros left after US lawyers finish shaking their dollar tree. If BP is any guide, telephone numbers won’t come into the equation. Obama is still seeking a legacy and VW could be the easiest touch down of his presidency. He could be remembered as the green president!

    Another expert has been telling us how to live our lives this week, leaving us wondering how we made it to our advanced ages. Dr Paul Kelley of Oxford University circadian rhythms said our ‘best times’ to take on activities vary with age. No argument so far. Then he presented his timetable. For our group he suggests a 6a.m wake up, 6.30 breakfast, 7.30 exercise. That got blank looks from the entire group - average wake up time 8a.m, cup of tea in bed while reading the paper, rise when finished reading. We skipped the rest of the day until Dr Kelley got to 8pm for our age group – his suggestion, have sex. That caused a bit of consternation. We think we’re pretty free spirits but none of us have ever paused for sex between the main course and sweet while having dinner with friends, even less so in a restaurant.  It could produce some great pictures for Instagram though. Have these academics ever met any real people?   

     We heard another moan from a senior policeman this week.  He suggested that budget cuts were seriously impacting on their ability to keep men on the streets. He made it sound like a new issue. If you live in the country you’re more likely to see a wallaby than a policeman and that isn’t a new event. Perchance, I act as coordinator for Neighbourhood Watch in the area where we live. Interestingly, I can’t remember the last communication of any type that I received from the police. Still, we did get stickers for our members to put in their window! I’m expecting the Chilcot report to come out before we hear anything from the police.  On reflection, it could be a close run thing.     

    Nicola Sturgeon seems to have had a change of mind. After the tragedy of the baby on the beach she joined thousands of others in offering to house an immigrant family. A spokesperson now says there are ‘no plans’ for that to happen. Still, a week is a long time in politics and she’s left the change of heart to a spokesperson. Deniability rules. Always use third parties to deliver bad news so that you remain one step removed.

    Everyone sees what you appear to be. Few experience what you really are.

                                                                                                    Machiavelli

Never mind, I’m sure we can rely on Yvette Cooper to keep her word as the first refugees arrive in the UK. Husband Ed will probably give them piano lessons!

    Great pictures from Brazil of a soccer referee who’d finally got sick of being abused by players. A policeman in his day job, he returned to the dressing room and came back to the pitch with his personal weapon. What a great way to regain control. The English Premier League is generally regarded as the best in the world but we are constantly treated to the spectacle of players diving, referees surrounded by arm waving players, and so called professionals waving imaginary cards to get opponents booked. Following the Brazil example, we could replace the referee’s yellow and red cards with a pepper spray and a taser. A short burst with the pepper would be a yellow card offence, the taser replacing the red cards. The next time we saw a player hit the deck as though there was a sniper in the crowd we would know he’d had a red card!