By the time you reach our age, the comment, “the world has gone mad” trips off your lips on a regular basis.  But some weeks you use it with startling frequency.  Not that it becomes a problem since you forget that you said it within about half an hour.  This week has been a cracker though. 

    One of the highlights is Craig Revel Horwood’s prediction that a same sex couple will appear on Strictly Come Dancing in the not too distant future.  The inevitable question was who would lead?  Or would they take it in turns? (Sorry) And then there is the dress.  We can imagine blood being spilled about who gets to wear the dress. The Beeb can stop worrying about the loss Top Gear if Horwood’s prediction floats.  Mind you – dancing cars?  JC can have that idea as a freeby!

    And now a group of women, many of them priests in the Church of England, want to refer to God as a woman to combat sexism.  Raising this as an issue shows how out of touch with real people the group is.  Can it be any wonder that the Church of England is shedding worshippers in large numbers?  Presumably these ladies believe that beginning The Lord’s Prayer with the words ‘Our Mother’ will begin to fill emptying pews.  Wake up ladies.  Focus on the real issue.  The elderly congregation is going the way of all flesh and you’re not attracting younger people.  If you can’t start replacing the shortfall more of the churches will finish in the hands of developers.  On reflection, they make nice flats based on those I’ve seen!  Maybe the thought of that type of conversion will stop this nonsense.           

    No holds barred from Vladimir Putin as he reacts to the sanctions imposed on Russia.  Nick Clegg has been banned from entering Russia. The Russian blacklist takes away a country Clegg might have visited, meaning he is likely to spend more time in the UK.  The Russian leader certainly knows how to hurt us. We pray he doesn’t ban Tony Blair.

    I was listening to some Beatles music the other day while scanning the paper.  Maybe it was coincidence that Can’t Buy Me Love came on as I read about the FIFA goings on.  Sorry lads but Sepp Blatter proved your words wrong in every sense.  By funneling money into third world countries, Blatter bought the undying love of those followers, consummated with the votes he needed to be re-elected.  I hope both sides used contraceptives to avoid the exchange of any unpleasant side effects. That said, we’re not sure contraceptives are much use for deleting emails!  Rumour has it Blatter even got votes from the French representatives.  Could that be a reflection of their economic predicament and the need for a bucket load of dollars?   Stop press – Blatter’s gone.  I wonder if the US prosecutor’s office has whispered in his ear. 

    Now we hear that Matisse, the dog that won Britain’s Got Talent, used a stunt double because he doesn’t like heights.  They say owners begin to resemble their pets over time but the winner is already acting like a Hollywood star by avoiding the risky bits.  Presumably Matisse will need the full entourage of hairdresser, make-up artist, agent et al in the near future.  We can’t wait for high wire replacement, Chase, to go solo and dish the dirt about his life as a stunt double to a pretty poseur.

    Found a great book in a charity shop last week.  The Superior Person’s Second Book of Words is a great discovery. It should become be the book that Russell Brand uses as his dictionary. Knowing his predilection for beautiful women and big words, I scanned the book for something appropriate.  I wonder if Russell knows that a gynotikolobomassophile is someone who likes to nibble on a woman’s earlobe. I don’t remember any of the lads saying I’m an ear man or seeking women with big ears? I must ask Jez.

    Sad about Charlie Kennedy.  A thoughtful politician with integrity and humour will be missed.  He was right about Iraq when most weren’t.  RIP Chilcot.