The description zombie parliament is in regular use at present since sitting members have no meaty legislation to consider. Oddly, Prime Ministers question time looks more like The Living Dead series each time we watch it, howls and distorted faces the order of the day.  It seems a ridiculous time to hold an important debate, especially on something as sensitive as the delay to publishing the Chilcot report.  The importance to members was shown by the small attendance, the only Blair disciple in evidence, Jack Straw.  While Chilcot et al must shoulder much blame for the delay, the real culprits are surely our parliamentarians.  They must have the power to speed up this ludicrous six-year project.  Whatever the final report says, we shall be sniffing suspiciously for any hint of an odour.  In reality, whatever it says will have the flavour of whitewash after this delay.  RIP Chilcot.

    In the same week the debate has taken place, Sir Jeremy Heywood, capo di tutti capi of the civil service, appeared before a parliamentary committee.  In a session worthy of the best episodes of Yes Minister, Heywood seemed affronted when challenged about some of the ‘gobbledegook’ he uttered at the meeting. Management speak comes and goes in business, but managers are amateurs compared to civil servants. Why it came as a surprise to MP’s we don’t quite understand.  Most of us that read communications from government departments invariably do a double take. I doubt any of us understand them completely at first reading – probably why so many find their way very quickly into the circular filing cabinet, ready for recycling.  If any political party produces a policy for reducing the number of senior civil servants, they will surely sweep to victory.

    Vladimir Putin’s ambition seems to have no end.  One of his Tu-95 ‘Bear’ bombers has flown down the English Channel.  After Crimea, and the resumption of fighting in Ukraine, perhaps he is considering the annexation of the Isle of Wight.  As far as we know, the island isn’t sitting on top of a major oil or gas find, so perhaps Mr Putin sees it as a weekend hideaway.  If nothing else, he’d feel he’d gone back to the Sixties, a preferred decade for him.   

    Education Minister, Nicky Morgan, has announced a war on illiteracy and innumeracy.  She wants children leaving primary school to know their tables (we’ve not heard that word for many a year) and be able to read a book.  Needless to say she’s missed the point.  What most children in modern schools need is discipline before either of her targets have credibility.

    I’m sad to read of the demise of Lotte Hass at the age of 86.  Her and husband Hans produced pioneering underwater films in the Fifties, almost the first of their type.  It reminded me of an amusing story that circulated with the speed of sound even in the pre-twitter world.  After Edward ‘Ted’ Kennedy’s mishap, when he drove off a bridge in Chappaquiddick, rumour had it that Hans Hass was the only applicant for a job as his chauffeur!

    Battle lines are being drawn as developers, Mayfield Market Towns, fight to win approval to build 10,000 homes on a green field site close to Henfield in Sussex.  Brown field sites are readily available across the country, but building on countryside is much easier.  We have an idea that might focus the mind of developers and builders.  A simple addition to the planning consent, making a ‘yes’ conditional on Directors of both developer and builders living in homes on the development for a term of five years, would make it interesting.  If they had to live on some of the monstrosities they force onto our countryside, we’d really see how committed they were.  A director from Mayfield is singing the praises of the new town he wants to build.  He should be happy to live there on that basis.  Make them put their money where their mouth is for a change.

    Labour have begun wheeling out the big policies as we creep towards the election.  Tristram Hunt, Shadow Education Minister, rocked the country yesterday with the announcement that 5 – 7 year-olds will receive sex education under a new Labour government.  How can we fail to be impressed?  With some children not toilet trained when they start school we can only hope they don’t start tearing at each others’ nappies.  One other thought.  Can you imagine how a lad called Tristram Hunt would have survived in a comprehensive school?  Nicknames in a plain envelope please!