The EU really should join the comedy circuit.  They have ruled that 'obesity may need to be considered as a disability’ by employers.  If an employee is hindered from working effectively due to obesity, the employer should attempt to change the working conditions to help the employee to carry out their job.  No more shouts of "move your fat arse" then.  Bigger seats, footrests, wider doors – no problem, your employer will organize it while you stuff another doughnut down your throat. Let’s do everything to encourage the fat buggers to keep comfortable. Parking close to the office entrance is normally reserved for directors but now will be switched to those too fat to walk more than half a dozen paces. In reality, the obese should be forced to park a mile from the office to help them shed weight.  We have visions of an explosion in the sale of disability scooters. Instead of disability parking permits we shall see the emergence of BMI badges, the higher the number, the closer will be their parking space to the service counter at McDonalds.  In a few cases, obesity is a disability. In most cases it results from stuffing food down the throat, lack of willpower and a lazy disposition.  These people don’t need encouragement to stay the way they are.  How about a touch of discipline instead?  Mouth staples must be cheaper than gastric bands!

    Familiar names are appearing in the list of potential parliamentary candidates for Labour; Kinnock and Straw just being joined by Prescott.  I bet all three fathers condemned nepotism in business, but they know a good trough when they’ve had their noses in it for a large portion of their lives.  And no better trough exists than the public purse!  Let’s hope David Prescott has been receiving speech coaching from his dad.  Hansard hasn’t been the same without Prezza.  The old man still has an amazing ability to put both feet in his mouth while still talking, recently calling the Labour leader Red Ed on the radio.  It was rumoured that Miliband pulled a face when he heard about it, but how can you tell?

    With Christmas almost on us we’ve been taking suggestions for presents for our favourite leaders.

     David Cameron – A ‘selfie’ stick.  Hints about leadership challenges means he

                          needs a way to watch his back and pictures are evidence

     Ed Miliband – a daily bacon sandwich delivery.  It won’t improve his ability to eat

                         them, but will give the rest of us a laugh if we’re having a bad day

     Nick Clegg – a flight into space so he experiences a total lack of gravity to match 

                           most of his utterances

     Nigel Farage – a crystal ball to help him to identify the occasional ‘nutters’ that he

                         fields as candidates, ideally before the media do

    François Hollande – an inflatable sex doll. The media will have a field day but at

                         least she won’t be able write memoirs         

    Vladimir Putin - a money box. He has to remember that wars are now economic.

                        The box is to remind him to look after the roubles.

     Angela Merkel – a new set of puppet strings.  As the German economy falters she

                        will need to restring the other European Leaders in case they get the

                        impression they have balls as big as hers.

    Barack Obama – A Sissel Balance Board Pro.  No leader in the world needs more

                       ability to balance in 2015 than Mr President.  With no support in either

                       House and racial unrest as an addition, he can’t afford a stumble

        A survey by lastminute.com has identified that 25% of the adults surveyed admit to buying Christmas presents for friends that they know the recipient will dislike.  We’ve tried to imagine the thought process as the buyer searches the shops, discarding presents the receiver might like, finally handing over their credit card with an evil smile.  At this time of goodwill to everyone, it’s the thought that counts!

    With politicians taking a break, we’ve decided to join them.  The old gits are heading for various homes and will miss next week.  It only remains to wish you a safe and enjoyable Christmas, Joyeux Noël, Frohe Weihnachten, Buon Natale, Feliz Navidad.  Also peace and joy to our Russian readers in the absence of Cyrillic script.