As the candles are lit and the silent vigils take place for the victims in Brussels, so begins the blame game. Turkey insists that one of the suicide bombers was deported to Holland but that both the Dutch and Belgian authorities were warned that he was a ‘foreign fighter’. Clearly the warning was given little credence. Two Belgian ministers, Interior and Justice, offered to resign but were asked to stay by the Belgian Prime Minister Charles Michel, his view that “you do not leave the field during a war”. What a strange view. If a leader shows incompetence during a war they should be fired to protect their troops not given an option, particularly if fighting an organized and determined enemy. Leadership has to be earned and Belgium appears to have a laissez-faire problem in that area. But Charles Michel is a smart politician. If you clear out the incompetents just below you, your need for scapegoats grows exponentially. But at least it has lit a fire under the Belgians and arrests are occurring apace. Suddenly the Belgian police have targets – sadly it took an atrocity to wake them to the fact. How can we feel safe in our beds when we rely on these casual people to fight terrorists?

    An Oxfam charity bookshop in Swansea has so many copies of Fifty Shades of Grey that it is begging women to stop bringing them in. Interestingly, a large percentage of them are pristine, clearly unread. Perhaps the ladies were frightened to read them in case hubby’s expectations of bedroom performance changed. It certainly offers an opportunity for a budding female author to write a sequel called Implementing Fifty Shades of Grey, a ‘How To’ manual that would render The Kama Sutra obsolete. At the same time one of us old gits could put pen to paper about the debilitating headaches from which men sometimes suffer in bed. Failing that I can recommend the male version of the book, Fifty Sheds of Grey, a good read if you haven’t seen it.

    Hilary Clinton has identified a large group of voters and almost guaranteed their votes by suggesting she will declassify Area 51 files if elected as President. ‘Trekkies’ will vote en masse to get their hands on those files. Even better, Hilary should open up the area for ‘Trekkie’ conventions. If any extraterrestrials do exist in the area they would soon be looking for a route back to where they originated when they see Hollywood’s version of their antecedents. We can just about imagine delegations of extraterrestrials arriving at the White House with a simple request – “beam us up Hilary”.  

    Chaos theory is the mathematical study of dynamical systems and their unpredictable knock on effects.  Often referred to as the butterfly effect, it is about to be tested. Thousands of EU staff are arriving on the Greek islands of Lesbos and Chlos to begin the mass repatriation of refugees and economic migrants. The fag packet deal with Turkey has massive implications, few of which have been carefully explored. Several politicians have referred to the deal as a merry-go-round – people out equating to people in. They’re wrong. A merry go round is wholly predictable. We’d bet that unpredictable results surface in short order with more short-term, sticking plaster solutions so beloved of politicians. Mathematicians should watch carefully as the theory is proved.

    As the doctor’s strikes escalate it becomes harder not to take a view. One of our mates has been in hospital for five weeks so we’ve become pretty familiar with both the hospitals he has been in. His medical treatment has been first class and he’s on the mend. But what about the seven-day service that junior doctors say we already have? They must be incredibly tired not to have noticed that two days in seven don’t meet that requirement. The meagre staff coverage if you visit at weekends tells its own story. We can understand junior staff kicking against the loss of overtime payments and would happily side with that position. But why try to wrap it up as a safety issue. If they tell it as it is, they will retain the backing, and more importantly, the respect of the public.

    Donald Trump says once more that Europe isn’t safe. I’m sure we’ll miss him but I wouldn’t want him to risk a visit!