Suddenly it is all about steel.  And once more Cameron and his merry men are at sixes and sevens. They should thank their lucky stars that Labour elected Jeremy Corbyn as leader. Anyone half popular and the Conservatives would be nailed to the cross by now – appropriate for Easter perhaps. The only difference, that they wouldn’t make a comeback in a couple of days.

    Like any foundation industry, steel is important to the UK and needs to be saved, though it may need restructuring. Even if sold there will be a significant cost to the government in the form of ‘sweeteners’ to the purchaser. Failing that, the cost of unemployment benefits could be billions. Some rapid decisions need to be made. We can only hope that Cameron doesn’t make another fag packet strategic decision, the type for which he has precedent. If he fumbles for money down the back of the settee he needs look no further than the Overseas Aid Budget. How it is spent doesn’t bear close examination and a billion here or there would be useful at home.

    Capital punishment, waterboarding for terrorists, a wall to keep out immigrants, nuclear war between Japan and North Korea – Trump seemed able to make outrageous comments without losing a single vote. But ‘The Donald’ finally made the shortest goodbye speech ever made by a prospective President  – ‘punishment linked to abortion’ – it doesn’t matter how - have a nice day Donald.

    Waseem Ahmed, the head of the family run Indian restaurant Shimla Cottage in Coatbridge, North Lanarkshire, stands a fair chance of winning the Basil Fawlty award for customer relations this year. Any customer who posts a negative comment on TripAdvisor can guarantee a robust response. Our only thoughts when reading his response to Mari of Glasgow was that it was beautifully written. “Rather than go into the minutiae of your written excrement masquerading as a review, may I simply express my hope that you were able to set-aside the money we took off your bill for the inedible curry towards a personality transplant.”  If Waseem ever gets bored with the restaurant trade he has a guaranteed second career as an author. Coatbridge is a bit far for us to travel but we’re tempted to write a poor review just for the pleasure of his response! Keep it up Waseem, you might end up with a television series. To complete the picture – the restaurant is located in Sunnyside Street. The location reflects Waseem’s sunny personality!  You couldn’t make it up, could you?

    ‘Karoshi’ is the Japanese word for death from overworking. Legal claims relating to karoshi rose to a record high in Japan during the last financial year. Why did it become a topic of conversation in the pub? Well, a couple of us have been watching with interest drainage works in the village of Bramley in Hampshire. A letter from the Highways Agency informed locals that it would take 3 weeks. It has just entered week 13 with a lot more left to do. A local summed it up beautifully. “If I’d have known years ago that you could earn a living by standing around scratching your arse I’d have chosen a different career option.”  And work never starts until the Welfare Vehicle arrives on site!  Karoshi is a word that probably won’t appear in the Amey dictionary.

    It can only be a matter of time before those with money insist all their dealings with intermediaries are carried out on paper. The Panama Papers almost guarantee it. The more leaks we see, the more obvious it becomes that electronic data cannot be made secure. Cyber crime is thriving and nothing we’ve seen so far suggests that our police services will get it under control. What else can we learn from the leak? Simply the fact those with serious money will seek to hang on to as much of it as possible. What a surprise!! When the dust settles we shall see if those concerned used tax avoidance or tax evasion. We’d bet that most of the schemes sit under the avoidance heading though a few crooks will come under the spotlight. And the next leak can’t be far away.

    A 27 stone mum from Stalybridge, Greater Manchester has launched a fundraising bid to pay for a gastric bypass operation. This after her husband used inheritance money to book two cruises. They cancelled one when she found the NHS wouldn’t fund her operation and now seeks donations. Cruises are well known as dietary holidays, hence the bookings! Clearly she planned to spend all her time on the ship in the gym. We tried a whip round in the pub but only collected a needle and some strong thread.