Friday 6^{th May} - that man of men Grayson Perry is fronting a TV programme called Grayson Perry: All Man. He suggests that what Bear Grylls celebrates as masculinity is useless in today’s world. I can’t wait to hear his views and plan to wear my pink tutu while I watch him on television. I daren’t go shirtless now my six-pack has gone south. As presenters go Perry is well worth a listen though I fear some of the good points he makes are lost due to the way he dresses.

    Saturday 7^{th May} - today is the newly instituted annual naked gardening day. The weather is being supportive, clear blue sky, sunny and warm. As far as I’m aware none of my neighbours celebrated the day. Nobody offered the usual word over the fence as I did a bit of weeding. Maybe they were out. I was OK until I tried to trim the berberis darwinii. The wounds are in an embarrassing spot but the hospital will see plenty of them today. The lads at the pub all planned to support the day. I hope they kept their part of the bargain!

    Sunday 8^{th May} – the various elections are over and the post mortems are coming thick and fast in the media. There were a few changes of note, Sadiq Khan becoming London mayor and the Conservatives achieving opposition status in Scotland. Apart from those, nothing much changed. Considering the shambolic performance of the Conservatives in recent weeks they should have been hammered, but the Corbyn effect probably saved them. We assume Cameron says a prayer for Corbyn every night as he kneels by his bed, ‘hallowed be thy name’ now meaning the new JC. For Cameron, the emergence of Corbyn offers more than any other second coming.

    Gordonstoun School (notable alumni Duke of Edinburgh and Prince Charles) has expelled a pair of students for having sex on a teacher’s desk. With fees of the order of £30,000 a year you would think they could find somewhere more comfortable. There has been no indication of performance from whoever found them in the act, though their choice of venue would suggest an A*!

    Monday 9^{th May} – a ‘friend’ of moors murderer Ian Brady has revealed he has information that has never been revealed to the police, including where Myra Hindley and Brady buried 12-year-old Keith Bennett. Dr Alan Keightley has known Brady for 25 years, seeing him every few weeks and talking regularly on the telephone, now becoming his legal heir. Keightley says he can only reveal the whole truth about the murders when Brady dies and he publishes a book based on what the killer told him. As a teaser for a book this plumbs the depths. We can only hope publishers don’t queue up with chequebooks in hand. Brady and Hindley were monsters and words fail us to describe a man who wants to cash in on their crimes.

    The other inevitability following the local elections was the EU referendum debate gearing up. At least this time we can settle our differences with a vote rather than bombs and bullets. Score one for the EU. On the other hand David Cameron says we should stay when only a year ago he said leave unless they reform. And we’ve seen his laughable ‘negotiated reforms’. We’ve also seen all the other wrong positions he and his team have taken as recently as the last two months. So, is he right? Questionable. Score one against the EU. But the Brexit team can’t paint us a picture of the UK outside the EU so it’s a step in the dark. Score another for the EU. But the EU want a federation of Europe with us simply another European state. Unimaginable. Score another against the EU. That makes it a draw so far. I’m left with my gut feeling. I find it hard to trust politicians of any colour, creed or nationality and the UK has been self reliant throughout my lifetime. I think I’ll back that precedent.  

    Tuesday 10^{th May} – faced by redecorating I read Feng Shui tips on how to improve the aura of our house. The big tip was to clear out clutter to create a harmonious home.  Get rid of everything that you do not love in your house, the advice. As a start I suggested getting rid of everything belonging to my wife that she hasn’t used or worn in the last month. I’m making the shed as comfortable as possible for the length of my stay.

    The Eurovision Song contest is on the horizon with bookmakers making Russia’s Sergey Lazarev the clear favourite. The UK can expect the usual drubbing from our ‘friends’ in Europe. Nul points for staying in Europe perhaps!!