So David Cameron had a few shares in dad’s offshore company. It was no big deal since it was perfectly legal and he paid the appropriate taxes when he sold the shares. If he’d made the position clear as soon as his father became a name in the Panama papers it would have been a non-story. By keeping quiet for a couple of days, raising suspicions about his reasons, he offers the Labour Party another free shot at goal that they will accept with gratitude. One of our lads had experience in crisis management and their advice was always to get the bad news on the table straightaway. Then spell out the actions you have taken to ameliorate the issue. That approach makes the problem yesterday’s news in double quick time. Maybe Dave’s advisors are as poor as George Osborne’s. We don’t have a problem with him trying to save a bit of tax, which of us wouldn’t if we could. Have we bought ISA’s for instance? But it certainly raises more questions about Cameron’s judgment. We’re too small a group to be any sort of poll but we are ‘natural’ Conservatives, and to a man, utterly disappointed with Cameron’s leadership.  Mistake after mistake makes you examine with care every decision he takes. And he’s the leading advocate for staying in the EU. Has he got that one right? 

    David Furnish, married partner of Sir Elton John, seems slightly peeved that he doesn’t have a title. He makes a fair point that most titled men automatically pass on the title of Lady to their spouses. It generated a lively debate in the pub about what that title might be. Lady seemed a non-starter, partly because we weren’t sure who does what. Dame seemed a possibility, but might cause confusion for those who already carry that title. Dowager got a fair response and it is a title obtained from a husband, though generally after death. Delivering that title would be asking too much of Sir Elton really. Ben suggested Matron but that simply called to mind all those ‘Carry On’ films and the discussion went downhill after that.

    Jeremy Corbyn has got a new fan. Hollywood star Danny DeVito has come out in support of him as Prime Minister. We can’t wait to see a complete breakdown of Danny’s IRS statements for the last few years.

    The latest work from the Department of Archaeology at Tel Aviv University shows literacy ability of a high order in the Holy Land around 600 BC. Much of the discovered writing inscribed in ink on pottery takes the form of mundane shopping lists. If only the descendants of teachers of that time now lived in the UK. Some of the kids leaving our schools would be hard pressed to write a shopping list at present, and they would never eat broccoli because they couldn’t spell it. 

    A judge in Karachi is recommending IQ tests and minimum levels of intelligence for anybody joining the local police force. He took the step after asking a policeman in court “if he knew how a hand grenade worked”. The grenade had been brought into the court as part of the evidence package. The policeman said yes and pulled out the pin to show his expertise. The policeman, the judge and a court clerk are recovering from their injuries in hospital. Fortunately, the policeman was carried away before he could demonstrate how his assault rifle worked!

    The Half Moon pub in Herne Hill, now closed due to flooding, was best known for some of the live acts (U2, The Police) that graced it. Now their fame has been widened by a list kept by the staff. The list was aimed at helping staff to identify drinkers that were banned from the pub. Have any of these banned drinkers moved to a pub near you?

            Staring Pervert – always comes in a crash hat

            Flat Cap Coke Fiend

            The Ginger Drunk Twat Called Angus

            Mickey Two Suits

            Crazy Linda

I can only hope Fullers reopen The Half Moon. Our crowd would certainly be calling in if only to take a look at the drinkers.       

    A woman had 16 teeth removed by her dentist and collapsed and died in the car park. We assume she waited until then to look at the bill.