Friday 9^th September – saw the debate between Jeremy Corbyn and Owen Smith, Labour leadership contenders, last night.  Many pundits are suggesting that if Corbyn retains the leadership it will condemn Labour to a decade in opposition. Having listened to Smith I’m convinced that if he wins, the time in opposition will stretch to twenty years. Smith seemed keen on attacking Corbyn rather than listening to the audience, coming across as a thoroughly unpleasant character as he did so. Successful leaders require the trust of their followers. It took an hour for me to be certain that Smith couldn’t lead me down to the pub for free drinks!

    What will it take to make the EU listen? Hungary’s PM, Viktor Orban, is leading a series of rallies across his country against the EU’s mandatory migrant relocation quotas. Then on October 2^nd a referendum takes place on accepting or rejecting the quotas. Brussels have reacted strongly against the call for a referendum and say the result will not be binding, insisting that Hungary will still have to accept their quota. So a democratic vote has no meaning if it clashes with an EU directive! Roll on Brexit.

    Saturday 10^th September – thought it was April 1^st when we heard the comment from David Thompson, Chief Constable of West Midlands police – “if a potential recruit asked to wear the burka, it is something we would have to consider.” We’re not sure how you identify police constables just by their eyes. How long before he is charging miscreants under Sharia Law?

    Sunday 11^th September – as your flight takes off and you head for the skies you can sink back in your seat and look forward to a nice relaxing holiday. Maybe not if you are sharing an easyJet flight with a failed asylum seeker screaming “allahu akbar” and “we will die”. Great planning by the Home Office again. 

     The memorial gathering at Ground Zero brought back memories of the 9/11 attack, vivid even for non-Americans. It seems hard to contemplate it happened 15 years ago. The pictures are always in your mind, seen with disbelief at the time, vivid flashbacks even now when something reminds you of that day. The world changed that day and whatever atrocities we see from ISIS we know they can never win. The US recovered and their actions since sent a message to terrorists everywhere. They don’t roll over, have long memories and will seek and destroy those who attack them.

    Monday 12^th September – A member of the Queen’s Guard is alleged to have snorted ‘white powder’ off a ceremonial sword. We often wondered what those swords were for?

    David Cameron has quickly decided to leave the parliamentary fray to shake the money tree. He will soon be on the speaker circuit, probably sharing a platform with Tony Blair. There doesn’t seem much danger of him selling his negotiation skills to the EU after they experienced his attempts to get a better deal pre-Brexit. He has a book deal on offer, but the chapter on his legacy will be very short.

    Tuesday 13^th September – conspiracy theorists are having a field day with Hilary Clinton’s illness. The one we like best is that Hilary has died and been replaced with a body double. We doubt that since Bill would have demanded a twenty-year-old double and there is only so much you can do with make up. In addition, pathologist Bennet Ornalu has hinted that Mrs Clinton may be a victim of poisoning. Guess which names he hinted at as those responsible? ‘I do not trust Mr Putin and Mr Trump’ he added. That could be a vote winner for The Donald from anti-Clinton voters!

    Naturist carpenter Robert Jenner is raising a few eyebrows as he carries out renovations to his house in Snodland, Kent. He likes to work in the buff. Earlier this month he received an ASBO for his bare arsed cheek after neighbours complained at the sights they were seeing every time he bent to work at floor level. On a positive note he has been inundated with offers of work!

    Greggs have succumbed to the health fanatics and launched two new patties using sourdough-based pastry. The fillings offer a choice of chicken katsu or Bombay potato. Paddy is certain the end of the world is nigh.