Friday 23rd September – Francois Hollande is talking tough about the
Calais ‘jungle camp’, vowing to close it and relocate the inhabitants in weeks.
They will be transferred to reception centres around France as their cases are
examined. Migrants who do not seek asylum will be deported. It is not often
that we agree with the French President but in this he is absolutely correct.
If migrants do not seek asylum they have no right to stay in France or to move
on to another European country. If Hollande walks the talk it will send a clear
message to migrants who are travelling the length of Europe to target their
‘preferred countries. If the migrants begin to understand that failure to claim
asylum in the first safe country they reach will result in immediate
deportation the dangerous sea journeys might cease.
Saturday
24th September – a woman in Moscow has been killed by a
tram. She stood in the middle of the tram
tracks to look at her phone and we hope she received a happy message since it
was to be her last. Clearly she hadn’t downloaded the ‘beware the tram’ app!!
In an
interview with Andrew Marr earlier in September Owen Smith said he was 100%
sure he could win the Labour leadership. With the polls saying mission
impossible we wondered which cloud he lived on. After his massive win, Corbyn
told Smith they were part of the same Labour family. We feel fairly sure that
JC views Smith like the relative nobody mentions when talking about their family.
Sunday
25th September – Scotland is famous for many things but we’ve
had some doubts about their deep fried delicacies – Mars bars, etc. But the
latest one we’ve seen has to be the weirdest – deep fried pizza. It seemed
unimaginable but a taste might change your mind – but only a tiny taste. It
seems sure to catch on and reduce life expectation even further in Scotland.
Hundreds of skinny dippers bared all and dashed into the freezing North
Sea in Northumberland this morning. The annual event is a fund-raiser for the
charity MIND and the event is now in its fifth year. The charity gives first
class support to those with mental problems and may be required to give aid in
future to anybody who skinny dips in the North Sea on a regular basis.
Monday
26th September – Clinton v Trump became insignificant as
conspiracy sites reported that asteroid 2009ES was on course to collide with
earth. The 10-mile wide asteroid would strike earth with the force of three
billion nuclear bombs. There’s a thought. But rest easy, the conspiracy
theorists got it wrong and the asteroid passed by without causing a ripple.
NASA claims to have detected about 97% of the ‘planet killer’ asteroids and say
that no large object is likely to strike earth in the next several hundred
years. Since that threat has gone we can get back to the big debate. With the
polls suggesting a close run thing, will ‘The Donald’ be the biggest asteroid
to strike in the near future. Perhaps the real decision for the American people
is much simpler. Clinton will offer more of the same while Trump offers change.
Tuesday
27th September – we can’t keep ‘The Jungle’ in Calais out of the
news. Reports that female aid workers are travelling there for sex generated a
few smiles in the pub. We’re on the lookout for the first of those box number
ads from men seeking women.
Young man 16-24 approx. seeks
a woman from the UK for friendship and perhaps more. He has his own home, fully
waterproofed in a pleasant French seaside town. He enjoys socializing and
regular strolls along the local motorways to view freight transport. Age is no
barrier to the right woman who would like to meet a man with high energy levels.
Ben
summed it up quite well. “Maybe these so called aid workers have the wrong
definition of relief.”
Mathias Doepfner, German Chief Executive of
publishing giant Axel Springer, says that in the medium term the UK will be a
highly attractive alternative to the EU. Freedom to implement a talent-oriented
immigration policy would have a positive effect on the UK economy. Nice one
Mathias.
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