Dame Sally Davies, Chief Medical Officer, is beginning to sound like an old style fire and brimstone preacher as she rails against the demon drink.  Her latest fusillade states that just one alcoholic drink a day can put you at risk of serious illnesses later in life. If her new job hadn’t given her access to the media we would expect to see her on a soapbox at Speaker’s Corner. In most respects we’d prefer that since it would give us the option of missing her diatribes. We’re not sure whom she sees as her target audience but the obvious group must be people of the ‘second age’ like us. We drink on a regular basis, one of our simple pleasures. In fact, her new suggestion on safe limits makes me think I blew the whole of January on New Year’s Eve! That said, when we were working we spent lengthy periods each day in traffic jams, soaking up whatever fumes joined us in our cars. And what about our diet? Like most normal people, we eat what we enjoy rather than checking fat content, sugar content or E numbers. We know we live in a ‘granny state’ but give us a break Sally – stop trying to protect us from living our fairly risk free lives.

    Brendan O’Carroll, better known as the Mrs Brown’s Boys star has agreed to foot the bill to bury a homeless Polish man found dead on Christmas Day. “That’s nice” – to borrow a favourite double entendre of Brendan’s.    

    The ‘attacks’ in Cologne have certainly split opinion in Germany, with three disparate groups all demonstrating their beliefs on the same day in the city. Women’s rights activists, far-right demonstrators and left wing counter protesters all took to the streets. They all have their axes to grind but one common factor emerges as the trigger – refugees/immigrants. Not even Germany, the country that needs immigrants to bolster their workforce, can cope with mass immigration. Interestingly, the German police couldn’t cope with the disturbances on New Year’s Eve but they made very sure on Saturday, even resorting to the use of water canon on their own people. The flow has eased due to winter weather but spring isn’t far away. And as borders are closed around Europe, pity the Greeks and Turks who don’t have the facility to close the doors while a solution is sought.

    Virtual reality porn has been unveiled at the Consumer Electronics Show. We have visions of the Harry met Sally scene becoming routine fare on buses and trains as people travel to work wearing goggles instead of reading a book. Taking your urges in hand will soon have a whole new meaning.

    Sir Philip Dilley, Chairman of the Environment Agency, grudgingly admitted he should have come home from Barbados a couple of days earlier as Cumbria disappeared under water. Perhaps a better question would have been to explore the skill set he has that makes him worth £100K/annum for a three-day week. Clearly, objectivity isn’t one of them. Even as I type, he’s quit. What a shame – the Old Gits can’t claim any credit for the successful conclusion! This is a good first step and leaves an important question. Does he need to be replaced? What did this part timer deliver to the Agency that was worth the large salary he received? The Chief Executive should be able to make strategic input while monitoring front line manager’s operational actions. If he can’t, they have the wrong man in that job as well.  We can only hope that the Conservative Minister in Post doesn’t have another crony that he wants to reward with large amounts of taxpayer’s money for little in the way of return.

    Snakes aren’t our favourite reptiles so stealing one would never enter our minds. A thief in Portland, Oregon, had a different view in every sense. He stole it from a pet shop by lifting it from its container and stuffing it down his trousers. Knowing the reptile’s preference for small live mammals we made the assumption that the thief had been well to the rear of the queue when male tackle was being handed out. Not being big enough to tempt a python to take a bite will result him being nicknamed ‘Crazy Tiny’ for the rest of his life.

    We’re sad at the passing of Bowie, a unique talent throughout his life, but also because he reminds us of our own mortality. His ability to reinvent himself and his music set him apart, a star that shone more brightly than others who carry that title. But we don’t understand the mass hysteria that results in flower filled shrines everywhere he rested his head. Shades of Diana, where it began.