Several of the lads are serious Top Gear fans so Clarkson’s current situation is generally on the agenda when we meet.  We now feel confident that we have diagnosed JC’s underlying problem.  Those who have the misfortune to hear our views have been heard to say that the outpouring is down to age.  We call it maturing rather than aging.  JC’s problem is that he is maturing faster than most of his age group.  His irreverent, politically incorrect comments tend to be milder than ours but he is moving in the right direction in speedy fashion. Can it be any surprise that he has personal go faster stripes?  For instance, any negative comment he makes about the BBC would probably be considered as praise by the old gits.  Keep maturing JC and if you need friends, the beers will be on us if you visit our local. Any form of Rosé wines might be an issue but we’ve been threatened with bans before.  There will only be one condition if you join us for a beer or three.  We don’t take kindly to our comments being criticized as extreme. 

    Fear must be growing for English voters as Nicola Sturgeon ramps up her requirements for Scotland.  We’re all beginning to wonder what the ‘No’ vote put us in line for, a debt level to challenge Greece suddenly a distinct possibility.   If the polls are even close to correct, the SNP must hold the balance of power when the dust settles in May.  Since she would only support a Labour administration, she’ll hold Ed Miliband gently by the hand, only switching to the throat if he tries to fight her demands.  Her latest comment, that increasing the pension age is unfair to Scots since they die earlier, is a classic.  Since the shorter life is generally attributed to higher rates of alcohol consumption, smoking and poor diets, that sounds like self-afflicted damage to us.  Make them eat broccoli and sprouts with their deep fried Mars bars, Nicola. It sounds like a vote winner!

    All Saints Church in Wolverhampton, my hometown perchance, set an interesting precedent last week.  They moved the Maundy Thursday service back by a day to Wednesday because it clashed with a weekly drop-in session for sex workers.  We’re not sure what happens during a drop-in session, but assumed it to be a medical expression.  The local bishop commented that the sessions were important for vulnerable women and exactly what Christian churches should be doing.  He certainly knows how to fill his churches but on the basis he likes his congregations to all join together, I wouldn’t risk closing my eyes when down on my knees!

    The Epping Ongar Vintage railway got some unwanted publicity last week when its train became the setting for steamy sex scenes in an adult movie.  The sex scene, involving a young woman dressed as a schoolgirl, has caused outrage from parents who are more used to seeing the train decorated as Thomas The Tank Engine.  Mind you, we’ve always wondered about that Fat Controller bloke!

    When the French need a scapegoat their eyes tend to turn in one direction, straight across the channel.  They seem to be blaming an increase in binge drinking by 18-25 year-olds on British youth.  Apparently, French youngsters are copying this Anglo-Saxon phenomenon.  But true to type the French call it “beuverie express”, fast-drinking.  Perhaps the possibility of English words creeping into the French language is more worrying than the trend to get legless.  At least the Élyséé Palace may get a break from the pesky media who keep raising the deficit. Cul sec, mes amis.

    It’s hard to keep Ikea off our radar.  Store bosses in China have had to ban sleepy customers from taking a nap on display beds.  Comments about snakes and ladders have died a death but sleepovers might be a great alternative.  We’ll keep an eye open for anyone in clothes that hint of nightwear or carrying an overnight bag.  Meatballs are readily available so partygoers will only need to bring the drinks!

    As the deadline approaches for the next Greek repayment to the IMF, the battle lines are being redrawn.  Alexis Tsipras will be shaking hands with Vladimir Putin today, hints of reciprocal deals to provide much needed finance coming from both parties.  At some stage the EU will have to bite the bullet.  The British are fond of Greece and the Greek people, but they were never natural members of the EU.