Back from a relaxing holiday on a cruise ship, average age 74.6 years!  We're never sure why they make that information public but it did raise a question in our minds.  Why were tap dancing and boot camp two of the classes on offer?  We finally assumed that the on board doctor had done a deal whereby he shared his commission with various undertakers at ports of call.  In the event, neither party made a fortune by the lack of ‘black bag jobs’ in ports.  Counting them off is a spectator sport on cruise ships. Not that age stops passengers taking risks.  One lady told me she had left her vest off by the time we reached Dubrovnik. She didn’t mention if she always did that in Croatia.  As chat up lines go, it was different, but did little for my ego. I must look older and more decrepit than I thought!

    I suppose the election caused a stir on the ship, though most passengers didn’t have a high opinion of politicians in general by the comments we heard.  The result made nonsense of the polls and we’re still waiting to hear the reasons they were so far adrift of the result.  Their excuses might be more fun than the election itself.  A couple of bloggers promised to run naked through Westminster if their predictions were incorrect.  I suppose that might be viewed as a bigger cock up than their predictions, depending on their proportions, probably overstated.

    We suppose the positive is having a government, rather than a mix and match coalition where the tough decisions get left in the ‘too difficult’ box.  The only issue for Cameron will be putting his money where his mouth has been.  The flood of promises made pre-election would need more borrowing than currently practiced by the Greeks.    

    The flood of leadership resignations was inevitable, Miliband and Clegg leaving to tearful applause from followers, the knives not drawn until the following day.  At least Clegg didn’t have a brother to dispatch a carefully worded jibe from a distance!  Never mind Ed, just hope that your mum can get a grip on David or future family lunches could get a bit fraught. And then there was the tombstone!  Whoever sold that idea to Ed has a great future as a salesman – fridges to Eskimos springs to mind.  But as resignations go, Nigel’s will take some beating.  Gone today, back tomorrow.  Miliband and Clegg must be green with envy.  That said, UKIP began self- harming within days.    

    One other piece that caught our attention was about a woman in Swindon making smoothies from raw human placentas. Local magistrates have used an emergency order to close down her business until she can prove her product to be safe.  We’re not sure what the placenta smoothies deliver to the recipient but at £25 a pop it sounds an interesting business.  This lady also produces umbilical cord keepsakes.  It seems like a natural step to consider other post-operative body parts for alternative uses. Loom bands became a worldwide phenomenon so there must be some potential for a keepsake in the remains of a carefully completed circumcision.  At least it might ease the pain.

    The news item that a glass of red wine can help you to lose weight gave us a great lift.  Based on the report, we’ve worked incredibly hard on our weight reduction throughout the holiday and will test it on the scales in a day or two.  Some research seems so logical!  I’m now keeping a scrapbook on the health benefits of wine.  I shall take it with me every time I have to visit the doctor since he never fails to ask me the “how many units” question.

    The other talking point on the ship seemed to be the Kevin Pietersen saga.  He has an amazing ability to split opinion straight down the middle.  Views were clear from anyone who voiced an opinion.  In or permanently out were the only thoughts we heard.  His talent is unquestionable and he is probably unfortunate in that he picked a team sport rather than an individual pursuit.  His real forte would be politics.  He could join a team where handshakes and smiles were simply cover for backbiting and self-interest.  And there is no shortage of leadership opportunities.