It’s hard to have a beer with the lads without talking about the Middle East.  As Obama is sucked back into Iraq, insisting no boots on the ground, he must be cursing his bad luck.  As his presidency runs down he must have been hoping for more golf, not the re-emergence of genocide in Iraq, a crisis set in motion by G.W and Tony Blair over a decade ago.  Right now, what faces minorities in Iraq at the hands of Islamic State has the potential to exceed Saddam at his worst. Regime change and so-called democracy has been replaced by a holy war. The Crusades lasted from 1095 – 1291CE. Modern weaponry will shorten this war provided action replaces hand wringing, but who knows with politicians.  We don’t need long memories to recall the Rwandan genocide or the Srebrenica massacre.  Immediately after those events, the Western World said ‘never again’.  Perhaps that’s political speak for ‘until the next time’.

     Sun Tzu lived in China 2500 years ago, about the same time as Confucius. He was considered an expert in military strategy, his writings still studied by political and business leaders throughout the World.  One of his principles springs to mind, namely, that ‘a losing general begins a war without knowing how to win it’.  G.W and Blair thought that removing Saddam would be the end rather than the beginning of a war, naïve the kindest word to describe their thinking.  Now both have been able to walk away, leaving others to seek a win.  Perhaps the real issue has now become the definition of win. 

    At our age we think we’ve heard it all before, until now.  Photographer David Slater is taking action against Wikimedia for using a picture of a macaque monkey to which he claims copyright.  Now it seems the picture is a ‘selfie’, taken by the monkey as it played with Slater’s camera.  If accurate, the monkey may own the copyright and ambulance chasing lawyers will be trying to work out how to offer their services to the macaque on a ‘no win no fee’ basis.   We hope the case is televised live since we can’t wait to see the monkey giving evidence.  Even better, his barrister taking the brief!  The picture went viral and our favourite girl, Rihanna hasn’t latched on yet.  Look out for a ‘selfie’ of her and the monkey in the near future.  You heard it here first!

    It must be animal week for the media.  Texas based Celestis Pets are now offering to blast a portion of your pet’s ashes into space aboard a commercial space flight.  For £2400 they’ll send ashes up with a satellite to circle the earth for several years.  We’re assuming Celestis also offer tracking devices so you can wave and shed a tear as your pet passes overhead! If not, they’ve missed a trick. They’re promoting the package as a final adventure for the owner’s pet, but our dogs seem pretty happy to get a biscuit. Our first reaction – what sort of idiot would take up that sort of offer?  And then we remembered the celebrities that dress their dogs in outlandish clothes and carry them in handbags. They’ll form a queue.           

    In October, Royal Mail is launching a series of stamps showing former prime ministers.  The four most recent prime ministers, Churchill, Atlee, Wilson and Thatcher will all be on first class stamps; an obvious reason why Blair doesn’t figure.

    Mark Simmonds, a Foreign Office minister, walked out a couple of days ago, having decided the £120K package doesn’t allow him to follow the family life he requires.  He became an MP in 2001 when MP’s expenses contained more fantasy than Dr Who.  With mortgage interest paid by us he was well set in a second family home in Putney.  But then, thanks initially to The Daily telegraph, we found out about MP’s expenses and the gravy train slowed.  The braking movement generated a whining noise that can still be heard in the Westminster area.  Simmonds name didn’t mean much to the lads, so we’re not sure what he contributed during his time in power, but we doubt he’ll be missed.  An Ethiopian proverb sums up his departure.

     ‘When the great lord passes, the wise peasant bows deeply and silently farts.’

All bend together lads!