Growth in the Eurozone seems to have ground to a halt, even Angela Merkel’s Germany slowing to a crawl.  Cheerleaders for the European Union constantly remind us of how many British jobs are dependent on the common market; three million to use oft quoted figures from Nick Clegg and Danny Alexander. They never mention that the figures are based on a finger in the air treasury assessment from 2003. Added to which, in an answer to a Freedom of Information request in June, civil servants made it clear that this figure ‘is not an estimate of the impact of EU membership on employment’, so why do the Libdems keep quoting it?  Maybe they see Europe as an employment opportunity post election next year.  Of more concern is that no growth in what should be our biggest market could slow our own recovery.  It’s also interesting to note that the Eurozone sells more to us than we sell to them.  It raises the obvious question about how many jobs in Europe are dependent on trade with the UK? Clegg et al say opting out of Europe would cost us jobs, while logic says reciprocal trade creates jobs for both parties. The common market always made sense and still does, but becoming a member of an over regulated, cost soaring federal Europe must raise questions.  Will someone give us the facts?     

    We’ve seen a great piece of research from University College London.  They’ve analysed the drinking habits and physical abilities of 30,000 adults between 45 and 69 years of age, a mix of men and women.  The good news is that those who enjoyed a tipple up to four times a week had greater suppleness than those who were teetotal.  It came as no surprise to our lads since men become better dancers after a few drinks!  Assuming a straight-line progression to the data, we’re about as supple as we can get.  

    It seems pyjamas have become the new street wear. Unsurprisingly, this trend is led by celebrities. We’re not sure if our mate Rihanna has given it a try but it can’t be long if she hasn’t. While on Grandad duties, a couple of us have seen women in pyjamas dropping children off at school, but trendsetters wasn’t the word we used to describe them.  Only Ben thought it a good idea, but having visited him in hospital I know for certain he would need some serious work in the gusset area before he ventured out in his nightwear.  His line of defence, if arrested, “that women breastfeed in public”, wouldn’t carry much weight with the local law in our opinion.  Needless to say, we encouraged him to test the theory.  What are friends for?

    A recent study has discounted the folklore about thieving magpies.  Exeter University’s Animal Behaviour Centre placed metal screws, foil rings and bits of aluminium close to piles of edible nuts.  The magpies ignored the ‘shiny bits’ and fed less in their presence.  So the explanation that many have used for lost rings and bits of jewellery that have actually gone to the pawnshop for cash, no longer holds water.  Jez doesn’t believe the research.  In his view it simply confirms that magpies don’t steal junk.  He reckons they can spot an assay mark at a 100 metres.  

    Wandsworth Prison in South West London seems a great place for a birthday party if you’re a prisoner.  Takeaway food plus a cake, and a few pictures taken on a mobile to be placed on your Facebook page, what could be better?  You might assume Wandsworth is an open prison with day release facilities. Wrong.  It’s category B, locked, difficult to escape from. In an era when security services can monitor calls from mountain peaks in Afghanistan and dispatch drones to return the call with missiles, we can’t stop mobiles being used by prisoners in cells. It’s not as if the users can quickly change their location, or maybe they can!  Like so many problems in society, those in authority simply place the issue in the ‘too difficult’ box and address something easier.

    MP Norman Baker wants cannabis made available to treat medical conditions, but currently sufferers risk prosecution by buying from street dealers.  Wake up Norman, Sativex by GW Pharmaceuticals is already available in the UK for spasticity associated with multiple sclerosis.  Unfortunately, NICE in its wisdom has blocked prescribing on a cost benefit basis.  Never mind, boob jobs and gastric bands are still available on the NHS; after all, we must have priorities.