We have recently been introduced to Vargic’s Miscellany of Curious Maps. It offers great statistics in map form. We’ve found it interesting to look at several statistics to see if we can find relativities.

e.g. The ladies with the largest boobs tend to come from Russia, with the southern states of the USA a close second. It seemed logical to check if the big boobs attracted well-endowed men. They didn’t.  In fact, both areas came well down the list in terms of size, fourth place in the world to be exact, and a similar size in inches! It seems logical to assume that Russia and the southern states of the USA have some unhappy ladies and some of the most embarrassed men. ‘Show me yours and I’ll show you mine’ can only end in disaster for both parties. It comes as no surprise that both geographical areas have the highest divorce rates. As we expected, the UK is middle of the road, with C cup women and 5.5inch men. Never has half an inch seemed so important! Seeing the world in cartographical terms is quirky but great fun. It also helps when you’re choosing holiday venues. For its interesting history and architecture we’re considering St Petersburg again this year. Honestly, we love antiquities.

    We’ve never cruised with AIDA, but any that have and sought medical help will be asking questions now. A doctor who has been treating passengers and crew for five years has been exposed as a fake. The names of the ships he worked on are being kept under wraps, but any ladies who had to strip when they saw the doctor with seasickness might now understand why!

    The Welsh Government has proposed a law that makes people go through a ‘cooling off’ period before having a tattoo; it could become a criminal offence to tattoo somebody who was drunk. Sad really, since shopping has become more interesting as crop tops and hipster jeans reveal memorable tattoos. Many of them challenge your creativity as you try to work out where they begin and end, let alone what they represent. Our winner to date is a large young woman who appeared to have a grape vine emerging from between the cheeks of her bottom. We can only guess where the grapes are at present. We estimate that with normal ‘southwards aging’ we should be able to identify the grape variety within ten years.

    In the first Saudi municipal elections in which women were allowed to vote the ladies have won seats, at least four. We’re not sure how voters will recognize their elected members, but that’s not much different from the UK where they don’t hide their faces.

    A suspected drink driver in Tadcaster ran from his car and tried to hide in a Nativity scene built in a large shed. We tried to work out what role he assumed. Clearly not a wise man, he may have been fooled by the message ‘Jesus Saves’. Apparently it doesn’t apply to driving licences.

    After calls for an ambulance went unanswered, a woman in South Delhi gave birth in an Uber taxi after it got stuck in traffic on the way to the hospital. The woman’s family asked the taxi driver to name the child and he did - Uber. On reflection, it sounds slightly better than Ambulance!

    Before Tim Peake blasts into space he may have to bow to the superstition surrounding the launch. Yuri Gagarin stopped the bus on the way to his launch and had a pee on the back right wheel. That impressed us since our nerves would have demanded a release from the other exit. Ever since, astronauts have continued the act as superstition demands. Whilst the superstition is associated with Gagarin, many believe it began with Laika, the stray dog that flew in Sputnik 2, but cocked her leg on the way to the launch.

    When Angela Merkel made her ‘all welcome’ speech about refugees she thought it would raise her already high profile. It did, but not in the way she expected. As her popularity plummets she has been forced to rethink her position. In a speech at the Christian Democrat conference she finally said that the time had come to ‘dramatically decrease’ the number of migrants coming to Germany. She repeated her call for a unified European response, code for quotas. That won’t happen. She took the cork out of the bottle and they never fit as well when you try to replace them.